Fathers Day

It’s sad to see these posts, where people’s dad’s are shit and they don’t get along and people just hate their dad’s. It’s a shit place to be.

I had to go through a lot to see where my dad was coming from, and there was years worth of epic fights mixed in through the early and mid teen years. I still haven’t come up with a way to express how much I love and appreciate him without getting too personal so I figure what the hell?

My dad worked a lot when I was a kid, he wasn’t around much because his job was so demanding, we moved around from house to house, sometimes staying in the general area and just changing homes to moving across the country to give something else a different try. There were summer road trips where there was a lot of my dad turning around in his seat while driving and telling all of us if we didn’t stop fighting and leave our hands off of each other he was going to pull the car over and then how would we like that? (Doesn’t EVERY family have road trips like that though?)

I kind of laugh at them now because we would get him so frustrated he’d have to stop and step out of the car so he wouldn’t yell at us. Even now when I go home to visit there’s that little bit of tension I see in him when the kids get into an argument or me and my sister stay up really late being loud. (Usually though, it’s him in our doorway with this look that could kill asking us WHY we weren’t going to bed because it’s 4AM and we woke him up. Complete with crazy hair that we laugh at as soon as he leaves.)

I didn’t ask for his genetics but I got them, complete with depression, migraines, anorexia and green eyes. Basically through everything my dad was there. Even when my mom was sick of dealing with me and we were fighting and not able to agree on anything. Even when I wanted to leave home and I hated everything about life. My dad drove me to my 3 times a week doctor visits, made me meals and sat through them with me, talked with my therapists and doctors and nutritionists. He was a bit of a hard act to follow because around my mom and the younger kids he kept an appearance of having strict standards but when we got in the car to make the hour drive to the doctors we’d talk about anything under the sun and listen to all sorts of ungodly rock music. I got filled in on the trivia of 70’s music and stories about his childhood.

My dad’s a hard worker, he’s a handy man, he knows how to fix things and build walls and remodels homes and he never half asses things. He know how to have fun and make people laugh, he know how to have a serious conversation and just listen when you need to talk. He knows how not to judge when you come to him with a problem and how to tease so badly he earns a punch to the shoulder that makes just makes him laugh. He knows how to cook and hell show you how, he knows how to play guitar and he’ll show you how, he knows how to change his computer password to a series of mysterious numbers that isnt his social security number and haha, good fucking luck trying to guess it. He knows how to keep a secret, he knows all the cool bands and the even cooler movies. He’s just cool.

Over the years the strictness of my parents has worn down a lot. They still have expectations for their kids, but it’s gone from being specific to being happy and healthy well adjusted kids. They’ve gone from having strict standards to “we’ll love you no matter what.” and for their adult kids they have an open door policy that my dad never fails to remind me of. How no matter what happens, if I ever need a break or need a place to go I can always go back home just to figure stuff out. I can always go home and they’ll always love me.

When I was 15 he took me to my first concert and accompanied me to the pit where he stayed through the whole first set. (No doubt I would’ve died without him there. Just gotten smashed, for real.) He taught me how to drive and gave me the spare key to his jeep.

Just him being him made me be a better person because I didn’t want to disappoint him. He knows what’s up and what’s hip and yeah, it can be a bit embarrassing sometimes but I have a dad that my friends love to be around just as much as I do. I was never one of those kids who made my dad drop me off a block before the mall because it was uncool to be seen with your parents. Fuck that, no. My dad was way cooler than all these kids who apparently decided what was cool or not.

My dad is just over all the worlds greatest guy, he takes care of people, he does what’s right but he’s still really fun. He doesn’t bullshit with you at all, if he asks a question he wants a straight answer and if you ask a question he’ll give you the absolute truth. He checks in just a bit here and there to make sure I’m okay, eating enough, staying healthy, getting sleep, being happy, to tell me he’s proud of me for how far I’ve come, tell me he’s proud of me for doing well in a job interview, tell me I should call my little sister because she’s freaking out and my mom can’t deal with her right then. :D

If I ever have a question I go to my dad, if something needs fixing I call my dad. He’s the ultimate guy, the ultimate dad. I love him. I hope that if you’ve got a shit dad that one day he’ll straighten up and love you for you, or if your dad is distant that you’ll gain a closer relationship with him. And I hope that if your dad is awesome and you’re just not realizing it that you’ll put your teen drama aside long enough to appreciate him. It’s the best thing in the world. Happy Fathers Day.